LOL I forgot I posted this.... over 3 years ago... How funny!
Friday, September 15, 2006
BOYFRIEND APPLICATION
Category: Quiz/Survey
BOYFRIEND APPLICATION
(1) Do you know how to read? If not I am sure you have no fucking clue how to answer these questions… therefore, it is NOT acceptable for your current GF or Mom to fill this out
(2) Do you have all of your teeth?
(3) Do you have at least a High School Diploma or GED?
(4) Do you smoke? If yes… what do you smoke? Ciggs? Weed? Crack?
(5) Are you an alcoholic?
(6) Do you have a gambling problem?
(7) Do you have some kind of random previous injury that only makes it possible for you to have sex and not please me orally?
(8) Do you like to have sex with farm animals or family members?
(9) Have you in the past?
(10) Do you believe in Monogamy ? (If you do not know what that word is please do not return application as you may be kicked in the balls on accident you cheating bastard)
(11) Have you cheated before?
(12) Do you lie to people you love?
(13) Would you lie to me about something important?
(14) Do you have a job?
(15) Do you go to your job everyday and actually bring home a steady paycheck?
(16) Do you live in a cardboard box (or the mission) and go to the library to chat online and meet women? (which would include now if you are at the library filling this out)
(17) Do you have a child/children?
(18) How many baby's mama's do you have?
(19) Have you ever told a woman you loved her to sleep with her?
(20) Have you ever mailed a GF a notecard (or emailed) to let here know you were thinking about her?
(21) Have you ever picked a wildflower and made a gift just to make someone smile?
(22) Do you believe you can love someone without being in love with someone?
(23) Do you believe after you meet someone for the first time that you could want to spend the rest of your life with them?
(24) Have you ever had such a love for someone it could be taken as possessive behavior?
(25) Do you currently take any prescriptions for paranoid-schizophrenia, depression, or bipolar disorders?
(26) Do you have herpes?
(27) Do you know everything thing in the world and anything someone tells you take with a grain of salt?
(28) Do you see life as an experience and adventure… or do you constantly question our purpose here?
(29) Do you believe that you should learn something new everyday?
(30) Do you have a problem with a woman having about 60 pairs of shoes?
(31) Do you want children?
(32) Are you supportive of career goals?
(33) Do you care that I have and will mostly likely always have a better car than you? And I will NEVER let you drive it?
(34) Do you think I am a BITCH? (beautiful, intelligent, thoughtful, caring, and honest)
(35) Do you believe that a person can be happy being themselves?
(36) Do you believe a person in a relationship needs at least 1 night a week away from their partner?
(37) Would you watch a sad, girly movie with me and eat chocolate when I am having a fat day?
(38) Would you go shoe shopping with me?
(39) Would you go get a pedicure with me?
(40) Would you cook for me after I worked a long ass day?
(41) Are you currently on parole or probation?
(42) Do you have an warrants out for your arrest?
(43) How many times have you been to jail, prison, youth ranch etc.?
(44) Have you been married before?
(45) Have you legally gotten a divorce?
(46) Are you currently married?
(47) Have you ever has sex with a midget? If no dot you want to?
(48) Have you ever taken a carnie home? the bearded lady?
(49) Have you ever been a carnie?
(50) Will you watch reality tv with me even if it makes your eyes and ears bleed?
Some of these are funny and some are serious... but I am seriously thinking of handing this out when I meet a guy.
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