Changes....

As time seems to keep passing by I look up and see less and less faces still on my journey with me. I realize that people need to grow and change in life and that people do that at different paces and go in different directions... but sometimes I feel like I am on my own set of train tracks. Am I changing so much that I no longer have anything in common with people I care dearly for... or is everyone else just fading into the background? I have a lot of love and time to give to people and have always been that type of person that can mingle in any crowd. Recently though I feel like an odd ducky... am I just in my own little world here? Perhaps... maybe I have finally hit that wall that everyone eventually does when they make decisions in life that most people are not ready to. I admit that I can be to focused and driven, but I wouldn't be myself if I just let my world swallow me whole... I need to be in control of it and be on top of the mountain. Not that being on top is a bad things... especially if your boobs are the size of most people's heads... personally I do not want to die of asphyxiation by my own hand LOL or boobs... anyway getting back to reality for a minute... I just cannot help but think what the hell. Why is it a bad thing to be determined and just want time from people. I never expect anything from anyone but time and respect. I apologize for the fact that I hold people accountable for their actions... I feel that if you really want to be a good friend following through with actions really will not be that bad of a thing... maybe on the other hand it is and that is one of my biggest downfalls. I suppose the average person does not follow through with things and that is one of the things that makes them average... is it a character flaw that I feel bad when I let someone down and only ask the same respect of others when it comes to my time and feelings? I suppose that if that is the major personality flaw I have... I must be doing pretty well in life. (or at least that is what I am going to tell myself)

The thing that baffles my mind the most this last few years is friendship and changes. I have had a lot of friends come and go... and been there for weddings, funerals and divorces... children, boyfriends, movings, career changes and through seeing all my friends' lives... I have seen happiness, sadness and all that comes between. With all of this knowledge comes burdens... the burden to always do the right thing and be there for them... even though I know I am just another stop on the bumpy plane ride of life.... a busy airport terminal that people come and go from... not looking back unless their path crosses mine again. I do not mind this role in life..... I just wish people would realize that I am human too. My heart breaks just as easy as others... more so sometimes I fear... I just wish that people understood that even if everyone always appears to have everything together all the time... a few kinds words and a hug can do wonders. Human contact and affection is something that can never be replaced. :-) Not everything is as it always seems and sometimes taking that step back and pause in life is the one thing that will save you from negativity and heart ache. Cherish those closest to you in life and remember that all roads in life are two way streets... you bump into people from time to time... accidents, pot holes and deer may run into you... but at the end of the day you can choose how you want to react to those obstacles. Change can bring positivity and light that you may have never had in life and you never know which direction the road is going to go... all you can do is simply follow it and learn from mistakes.