One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest

As most of you know I am a bit nutty anyway... so being woken up in strange ways isn't that odd for me. However, today was an exceptionally odd way to be woken up.

So, I wake up at 5am everyday to feed my cats (yes I realize they are spoiled) and then check emails etc. Today is was cold and feeling lazy, so I went back to bed. Twenty minutes into my warm coma I am jolted from my sexy dream to the sound of hissing, meowing, glass breaking and all out calamity. Holy hell... seriously someone has got to know better than try and break into my house at 530am right?... hello all the lights are on and the sun is coming up. So me being the genius I am decides the first thing I need to grab is no not a gun, but pants. What kind of maniac is going to confront someone naked right? LOL get some pjs on and get the gun... tip toeing from my room to the kitchen. I slowing peak around the corner to find Ebio on top of the fridge, Sofia on the counter running back and forth and Genevieve on the table... and a big fucking bird on top of my cabinets flapping its' wings. What the fuck... how did a giant fucking bird get in my house? Panicking I go check every window and door in my house... all locked and none broken. Next I check all the light fixtures - make sure none have been pushed down or broken. Then I remember in my laundry room I heard chirping a few days ago in the wall... somehow that fat fuck got into my soffet... hopped around and fell down into my interior wall (hence why everyone should insulate all your interior walls too) and broke through the sheetrock where my garage door handle slammed into a few months ago... there is not a 4" hold I need to patch - awesome.

Ok - so now I know it's a bird... poor thing is close to having a heart attack with 3 fats cats ready to rip its' pretty little head off... I need a plan. So - the plan was to get the cats into my bedroom, locks them up and somehow heard the bird with a broom out my front door. Good thing I already had some clothes on ;) Just imagine me: hair a mess... in pjs... front door open running up and down the hallway with a broom trying to get the damn bird out...

Just another day in the life of The Fabulous Miss Jessica <3

Selfish Much?

Ok - So as most of you know if you are a true friend of mine I am overly kind... to the point I even let people walk on me. Enough of that shit... I am extremely tired of being that kind of friend. At this point in my life I feel if you are not willing to do the same I am willing to do for you... why are you in my life? Those people only seem to suck the life from me and try to take what little time and resources I have left. When a friend becomes expectant of certain things because that how things have always works or because they are a comfort level where they do not feel the need to ask... that is the point I begin to ask myself why? I always put every person before myself and I always ask to use something, ask if they are having fun at a gathering... just ask and communicate. Is it so much to want that in return... or even a simple thank you?

Life seems to throw some random things at all of us... I am always there to be the shoulder to cry on when my friends need anything... but when I found out my last bf was a total slimball... cheated on me and actually hit me when he was drunk... where were my friends? It seems to me that when I really, really need someone, people are extremely sparse... now if someone wants to go to a show, or have me buy them dinner, or drive them to an out of town concert... there is a mile long list... wtf?

I guess I have too big of a heart... too much love and kindness? I really should be calling most friends acquaintances and not giving them much thought... only allowing room for a select few that are always there. DON'T get me wrong... I have some VERY good friends out there... you know exactly who you are... I love you all and I know that you all have some intense situations you are working through. Just remember though I have a smile on my face and all always seems perfect... don't forget to take a second to just say hi and give me a hug :-)

I suppose what I am saying is my give o' shit meter just ran out... if you are not a real friend and have not been there for me, don't expect me to give a fuck about any random drama in your life... don't expect me to return a phone call (if you ever call) and don't expect me to do anything for free anymore! My time is very valuable and I have big goals and dreams... my life will be very different in just 2 years if I stay focused. I am not willing to let all the haters suck my dreams from me... and if you plan on riding my coat tails... go fuck yourself <3

I am hoping this will be a very liberating experience... and if you genuinely feel like we have always been good friends, you know how to reach me... this isn't directed at one specific person... I have several in mind... and I am just at the point that I am tired of being every one's fucking mommy!