Selfish Much?

Ok - So as most of you know if you are a true friend of mine I am overly kind... to the point I even let people walk on me. Enough of that shit... I am extremely tired of being that kind of friend. At this point in my life I feel if you are not willing to do the same I am willing to do for you... why are you in my life? Those people only seem to suck the life from me and try to take what little time and resources I have left. When a friend becomes expectant of certain things because that how things have always works or because they are a comfort level where they do not feel the need to ask... that is the point I begin to ask myself why? I always put every person before myself and I always ask to use something, ask if they are having fun at a gathering... just ask and communicate. Is it so much to want that in return... or even a simple thank you?

Life seems to throw some random things at all of us... I am always there to be the shoulder to cry on when my friends need anything... but when I found out my last bf was a total slimball... cheated on me and actually hit me when he was drunk... where were my friends? It seems to me that when I really, really need someone, people are extremely sparse... now if someone wants to go to a show, or have me buy them dinner, or drive them to an out of town concert... there is a mile long list... wtf?

I guess I have too big of a heart... too much love and kindness? I really should be calling most friends acquaintances and not giving them much thought... only allowing room for a select few that are always there. DON'T get me wrong... I have some VERY good friends out there... you know exactly who you are... I love you all and I know that you all have some intense situations you are working through. Just remember though I have a smile on my face and all always seems perfect... don't forget to take a second to just say hi and give me a hug :-)

I suppose what I am saying is my give o' shit meter just ran out... if you are not a real friend and have not been there for me, don't expect me to give a fuck about any random drama in your life... don't expect me to return a phone call (if you ever call) and don't expect me to do anything for free anymore! My time is very valuable and I have big goals and dreams... my life will be very different in just 2 years if I stay focused. I am not willing to let all the haters suck my dreams from me... and if you plan on riding my coat tails... go fuck yourself <3

I am hoping this will be a very liberating experience... and if you genuinely feel like we have always been good friends, you know how to reach me... this isn't directed at one specific person... I have several in mind... and I am just at the point that I am tired of being every one's fucking mommy!