Hello all you fabulous people! I want to say I am terribly sorry for not posting very much (ok well at all) for like a month now. You know how sometimes your life just consumes you and you feel like you are being pulled in 39.7 million different directions... well that has been me recently. I just have been in a very internalized mode and really focusing on myself. Sometimes I feel it is important to withdraw oneself from society for a moment to just refocus and center everything. We all get so caught up in the moment of our own selfish desires it is good to just step back and really focus on the priorities in our own lives. For me my priorities are my family, exploring love and my future with the person who makes me feel most like myself, my health and encouraging those around me in positive ways. Now most people reading this are like wtf... captain potty mouth bitch thinks she is Dr. fuckin Phil... well bitches I am as close as it gets... but my tits are bigger and my hair is much fuller LOL Seriously though... how often do we get a chance to reflect on exactly how we touch people's lives, how we make ourselves feel and what we can do to either change the results or move forward full steam ahead. I know this is hard for everyone in this economy... but the beauty of this situation is what does not kill us does truly make is stronger. We find as people that the less money we spend on items... the more we reach out to other people to interact and entertain us... It is how people in the olden days did it with no tv's... cell phone... etc. The world is just putting all it's inhabitants in check... we have become spoiled and bratty... if something isn't how we like it we just throw money at the problem or throw and tantrum and it is fixed. Now people are doing things for themselves again... finding inner strength and confidence that we have not had for a long while. Times like these really show us as people what we are made of. For me it has been a hard look in the mirror the last few years. I grew up quite comfortable... my family always made sure I had the best of everything and made sure the right tools were available for me to succeed. When I was 18/19 I had grown into the mindset that I was to be given everything... I 'deserved' it. For that it was really hard to look at myself and be proud of what I saw in the mirror. It is never hard to face what we are or were in life. I am truly blessed to have the family I do... even when I was ugly to them they kept being supportive and pushing me to make good decisions. Now most of you who have known me a long time realize I have not always made good decisions, but I was never a troublemaker... I just liked to push the boundaries a bit :-) The guilt I have felt for my behavior and attitude for those years is indescribable and unexcused. The only good thing I can say is I learned from my past and have now become the 'well adjusted' person I am today. To anyone that feels like that were never given a fair chance in life or never had it good... take a look in the mirror.. just because you were not handed something does not mean you are not capable of making something of yourself or being positive in life. Every person has the same chance of succeeding in life... it is what you do with that chance that matters... and if you screw up you are only human... take that second chance if it comes around and never look back.
Sometimes looking in the mirror and realizing the truth is the only way to move on and focus on what is here and now.
Monday, March 29, 2010
Monday, March 1, 2010
Role Model...
When we think today of whom a role model should be what comes to mind…. Is it a celebrity or a family member… a coach… who is someone that influences your life in a positive way? The reason I ask is because recently we have seen a ton of celebrities falling off the wagon so to speak and not living up to an even sub-human status… cheating on wives, murder… drug assuage, etc etc… why do we hold celebrities up so high on pedestals for them to fall off? Why don’t more people focus on looking up to someone that is more tangible to them… someone that will actually be there for them as a role model and not someone that has just become famous by some random talent or sheer dumb luck. I guess I have always been lucky enough to have positive influences in my life from my family, friends and people that have touched me in different places of my life. I like knowing I have people in my life that help me stay focused… push me to always be the best I can be. Maybe the problem with celebrities being made to be role models is that they do not want people to look up to them. The thing is sometimes we cannot choose who looks up to us or what actions the will do. A lot of young people tend to follow celebrities and mimic things that they do to match those of their idol. Obviously we shouldn’t hold celebrities accountable for things people do because they want to be like them, but the celebrity needs to realize when they choose the job they do… they are automatically thrust into the spotlight and their lives are lived under a microscope to the world. The thing about this is that most celebrities end up living double lives… take Tiger Woods for example… yeah I am going to pick on Tiger… he has been leading a double life for several years now. At least he has stepped up to the plate and admitted what he has done. The thing is he is someone that had been a trailblazer for not only the sport of golf, but for African American sports figures in general. He has conned all of America into thinking he is an amazing person. The other side of the coin could be said that Tiger started this abnormal behavior after his father’s death. Look at the time line… he was absolutely perfect at everything he did for years… over a decade in the spotlight and no tarnish on his image. Then we see him unravel in front of everyone… a man broken only by jealousy of his lover’s. I mean seriously LOL When I was 18 I dated 2 guys at the same time and it was exhausting! How the hell did he have time for 5 or 6 or 7… for almost 4 years and having a wife and kids and being the leading golfer of all time? Sometimes I think we all need to realize that celebrities are just like us… human for the most part and also held at a higher standard because they are in the spotlight. I guess in a way it is a double standard for us to make celebrities into something they do not want to be and also when many of us are or have done the things they are doing… our lives are not blast all over the internet or tv either. If we shit the wrong way or go drinking one night in Vegas it doesn’t end up on TMZ the next day. Being a celebrity can open up a lot of doors, but it also closes the right for you to be a normal person and do normal things. The thing is if you do not choose to be a role model whether you are famous or not, you need to realize as a human other humans are always seeking for something to believe in or look up to. This is why we should all try to be the best version of ourselves in life and not sweat the small stuff
I have been told many times that I am a good role model or I should watch the things I do because there are several people that are looking up to me. This is not a role I have chosen, but it is something to consider when doing daily things in life. I live my life honestly and focus on being the best version of myself on a daily basis. The thing is being myself also tends to be what some people would say is not a good a role model. I am me… loud both in spirit and being, silly, goofy, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, not a fashion model size, too tall, obnoxious, cuss like a sailor that married a logger and passionate about all I am. Just because someone is not the ideal vision of what a role model is, does that mean they are any less of a role model or that they are not a good person? I am gonna go with a no… I think someone like me that is successful and motivated can motivate other young people to be successful and embrace everything that they are in life. I think one of the biggest issues in our society these days is people trying to be something they are not because others around them are not accepting them for who they truly are. When I was in high school I always imagined being accepted by my peers, but let’s face it… the tall/fat/brainiac kid is not the first on the acceptance list. The thing I have found through the years is that the people that were the accepted crowd were the ones that were actually pretending to be something they are not and making everyone else buy into it. I have talked to a few people that were mean to me… some of them owned up to being insecure and were truly sorry whereas a few were still very much the same person. It actually makes me sad to think how empty of a life that must be still pretending to be something you are not to put on a show. Is that something celebrities do as well? Are they all just outing on a show and making everyone else buy into it. I love Lindsey Lohan, but the poor thing seems to always be into trouble… is this an act or truly a person crying out for help coming from a broken home? I guess we just need to remember we are all human and we all need a little love and a little help from time to time. Shit happens to even the best of us… that is just how life is. If there were never any challenges for us to overcome…how would we overcome anything and grow as individuals?
I guess what I am saying is we are all just people trying to do the best we can in life... when you are sad and think you are worthless... just remember that you may have someone watching you... looking up to you that motivates them or keeps them from doing something stupid. We are all connected in life and need to remember that in our daily actions. We all have bad days and sometimes we all just need a hug... remember that next time you see someone down that may need lifted up.
I have been told many times that I am a good role model or I should watch the things I do because there are several people that are looking up to me. This is not a role I have chosen, but it is something to consider when doing daily things in life. I live my life honestly and focus on being the best version of myself on a daily basis. The thing is being myself also tends to be what some people would say is not a good a role model. I am me… loud both in spirit and being, silly, goofy, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, not a fashion model size, too tall, obnoxious, cuss like a sailor that married a logger and passionate about all I am. Just because someone is not the ideal vision of what a role model is, does that mean they are any less of a role model or that they are not a good person? I am gonna go with a no… I think someone like me that is successful and motivated can motivate other young people to be successful and embrace everything that they are in life. I think one of the biggest issues in our society these days is people trying to be something they are not because others around them are not accepting them for who they truly are. When I was in high school I always imagined being accepted by my peers, but let’s face it… the tall/fat/brainiac kid is not the first on the acceptance list. The thing I have found through the years is that the people that were the accepted crowd were the ones that were actually pretending to be something they are not and making everyone else buy into it. I have talked to a few people that were mean to me… some of them owned up to being insecure and were truly sorry whereas a few were still very much the same person. It actually makes me sad to think how empty of a life that must be still pretending to be something you are not to put on a show. Is that something celebrities do as well? Are they all just outing on a show and making everyone else buy into it. I love Lindsey Lohan, but the poor thing seems to always be into trouble… is this an act or truly a person crying out for help coming from a broken home? I guess we just need to remember we are all human and we all need a little love and a little help from time to time. Shit happens to even the best of us… that is just how life is. If there were never any challenges for us to overcome…how would we overcome anything and grow as individuals?
I guess what I am saying is we are all just people trying to do the best we can in life... when you are sad and think you are worthless... just remember that you may have someone watching you... looking up to you that motivates them or keeps them from doing something stupid. We are all connected in life and need to remember that in our daily actions. We all have bad days and sometimes we all just need a hug... remember that next time you see someone down that may need lifted up.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Religion & Politics....
As most of you know, I can be quite opinionated... on and off of the web :-) Recently though I have had requests to know exactly where I stand on some very specific topics... I always try to avoid these questions because I am not the sort of person that can give these answers with one word. So let's get to it shall we...
I grew up in rural America... and I am a registered Republican for the simple fact that I need to identify with a party to be able to vote in all elections. The Republican party is much closer in many ways to my beliefs. I grew up in and around my family's business... as a future small business owner taxes, required health care benefits etc are going to be very important to me. If the state expects all the mom and pop businesses of Oregon to finance all these new taxes that seem to get added every couple of years... we are all going to be one giant box store someday. One thing about Oregon is the majority of our voters live in our 3 largest cities in the northwest corner of the state. Most do not own companies, but instead work for corporate 'think tanks'... they do not know exactly how that will effect the other 75% of the state. It is very frustrating to sit and watch all this. Someday I may actually run for an office of some sort, so people of my generation can be heard to. Continuing down the Republican pipeline I am actually slightly conservative on a few other things... Integrity and honesty are things I strive for on a daily basis... small town values if you will... and I certainly do not know anyone more honest than me LOL. Some people reading this may be shitting a brick laughing.... laughing that I call myself conservative on any level. I support war when necessary... and even though GW Bush was a bit of a goofball I truly think he handled the 911 situation very well! I was at ground zero when they were still doing major clean up... seeing something like that after and all the devastation and destruction is life changing. It was like a bad dream on tv when we watched it, but seeing it in person was intense. Getting back to honesty... the thing most people (whether right or left) don't seem to do is be honest with themselves. It is truly a freeing experience and how I live my life. No I am not a super model, nor will I ever but, but I am not fucking ugly! I curse a lot, I'm crude, crass, and at time arrogant... the thing is... I know I am amazing and I know when to be humble (well most of the time)... and if you are my friend and never betray me I am there for life. I am passionate about things important to me and never back down from a fight that I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I think a lot of time in politics all of us get caught up in what we think is Republic or Democrat... it seems like the Democrats are geared for poorer or non 'white' America and the Republicans are white and from Texas... that's right... all the Republicans of the world are born in Texas don't cha know?! lol It just seems to me that all us have gotten off track. I mean it was Wilson (a Dem) that finally gave the women the right to vote only because he was forced to. (so it was a great change for Kennedy to come in the 60's) The Democratic party seemed to be focused on movement and progress for all... equality for all... never did it use to be so focused on race or class... this is sad to me. Now the Republican party seemed to be the dragging the feet party for awhile.. I'm sure deep down they wish everyone to be equal, but reality check not everyone can be equal... so for that I agree, but not to the extent we have gone. I also believe in choices for a lot of things.... abortion, gay marriage etc. I guess what I am saying is that both parties are a let down right now... fighting like a brother and sister... one being the stick in the mud... the other being with wild child... not to sound like a Miss America contestant, but can't we all just get along and find balance?
When it comes to life we all need to realize it is truly precious. With so many natural disasters coming in recent years, so have said the world is coming to an end etc etc. All things come to an end... and it should just remind people how precious life truly is. Do you ever wonder what happened to the ancient Egyptians or the Romans? Natural disasters... corruption... people taking over the system... sometimes I think natural disasters are ways that God reminds us life is precious... at any moment you can be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. How is it then that so many people live life like they themselves are Godlike? When these big disasters come through several lives are lost... is this God's way of hitting the reset button and cleaning out over populated areas? That is an extremely harsh thought I know, but seriously the earth only can support so many people before we all parish and are fighting over water and oil until we blow the shit out of each other.... killing everyone. Most of you that truly know me know that I would give the shirt off my back to someone I know really needed it. I am quite compassionate, but honest... it always comes back to honesty for me... There are reasons why great civilizations have crumbled before we were even a dream in God's eyes... I only hope I am not around to see it. If current projections are correct we will be out of our major resources for the world around 2058. That is why I try to recycle as much as I can and support green building practices whenever possible.
So I just want to clarify a few things... yes I support gay marriage... I think it is hard enough in this world to find someone you want to be with your entire life no matter who you are and I think it is shitty for government to say who you can be with. Also, I do support abortion... if a woman does not want a child and is brave enough to go get it done, I think that is a strong person. If a woman knows that she cannot take care of a child or does not want a child because of certain circumstances, what right do we have to make her carry a child and then give it away?! We have none in my opinion.
I guess that bring us right around to religion... wow religion... this is an interesting subject for me because my grandparents were missionaries (in Haiti) and I was always told if you didn't live a good Christian life you were going to hell (LOL) I gotta laugh sorry! The greatest thing we have in life is hope and the faith that there is something greater our there. I personally believe that if you are a productive member of society and you have a belief or faith that there is something watching over us... you will be just fine in life. I do not think it is fair for people to say if you do not go to Church you will go to hell. To me most churches are a giant melting pot and crock of shit (sorry!)The God business is the biggest business in the world no matter what religion you are! I think you can talk to God everyday without going to church... now there are some churches that focus on fellowship and outreach in positive manners... that is something I can get on board with. I think that most churches have gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of the world and become greedy. Don't get me wrong I know that there are people that need a church atmosphere to stay focused, sober or happy... they need that structure and fellowship to lead a healthy life...however I find is very frustrating for those same people to tell me I am not leading a whole life by not attending church. I went to church when I was younger, by my own accord... I was baptized on my own and went to youth group a lot. I liked the fun atmosphere and met a lot of great people. However, as I grew older I noticed a shift in the churches... most being centered on giving money... if I didn't give 10% of my earnings to the church I was not a complete Christian... news flash... God knows how much my mortgage costs and he knows I need every penny. To me that is horse shit to tell someone. If I do not give specifically 10% I am not going to be saved. I think there are several ways to give... one being food and shelter to people in need whenever necessary. I have friends that go through rough patches... I am there to cook for them, help them out by finding odd jobs for them to do and even from time to time a couch to crash on. If someone is truly trying in life... I want to help them succeed the way I ave been helped. Leading a straight and narrow life is not easy, but it is rewarding. The biggest problem I have with most churches is the people in them... seeing people I know run their businesses unethically... people I know are cheating on their husband or wife (sitting there smiling with their wife right there)... people I see drinking themselves almost to death or acting like an ass at bars acting Godly at church... they are saved each time they repent... going to church is like a quick fix for these people... and I choose not to be around them. If that makes me a bad person then fuck it. I truly believe if you have a good heart... get control of any addictions you have, stay focused and be a productive member of society there is a place for you in whatever heaven there may be after life.
Another thing about religion that kills me is the fact that every single religion thinks they are the only real and true thing out there... Most religions are centered around 3 different things - Christianity (father, son, holy spirit)... now look at the religions of the world... it is the same thing with different 3... perhaps we all actually believe the same thing, but cultural differences and time have pushed us in millions of different directions. I am not really sure... but the only thing I am sure about is that if you lead a productive life, are happy with yourself, find love, be kind to everyone in your world and strive to be the best version of yourself everyday... there is no way to have a terrible life. We all need something to hope for and have faith in... so religion is not a negative thing... but we need to take a step back and realize that people are people and we all need different things out of life. I live my life in 3's as well... I know there is good, bad and everything else... these reason for my lower back tattoo... everything is connected and it always goes in cycles... do not take for granted the good and do not worry so much about the bad.
I grew up in rural America... and I am a registered Republican for the simple fact that I need to identify with a party to be able to vote in all elections. The Republican party is much closer in many ways to my beliefs. I grew up in and around my family's business... as a future small business owner taxes, required health care benefits etc are going to be very important to me. If the state expects all the mom and pop businesses of Oregon to finance all these new taxes that seem to get added every couple of years... we are all going to be one giant box store someday. One thing about Oregon is the majority of our voters live in our 3 largest cities in the northwest corner of the state. Most do not own companies, but instead work for corporate 'think tanks'... they do not know exactly how that will effect the other 75% of the state. It is very frustrating to sit and watch all this. Someday I may actually run for an office of some sort, so people of my generation can be heard to. Continuing down the Republican pipeline I am actually slightly conservative on a few other things... Integrity and honesty are things I strive for on a daily basis... small town values if you will... and I certainly do not know anyone more honest than me LOL. Some people reading this may be shitting a brick laughing.... laughing that I call myself conservative on any level. I support war when necessary... and even though GW Bush was a bit of a goofball I truly think he handled the 911 situation very well! I was at ground zero when they were still doing major clean up... seeing something like that after and all the devastation and destruction is life changing. It was like a bad dream on tv when we watched it, but seeing it in person was intense. Getting back to honesty... the thing most people (whether right or left) don't seem to do is be honest with themselves. It is truly a freeing experience and how I live my life. No I am not a super model, nor will I ever but, but I am not fucking ugly! I curse a lot, I'm crude, crass, and at time arrogant... the thing is... I know I am amazing and I know when to be humble (well most of the time)... and if you are my friend and never betray me I am there for life. I am passionate about things important to me and never back down from a fight that I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I think a lot of time in politics all of us get caught up in what we think is Republic or Democrat... it seems like the Democrats are geared for poorer or non 'white' America and the Republicans are white and from Texas... that's right... all the Republicans of the world are born in Texas don't cha know?! lol It just seems to me that all us have gotten off track. I mean it was Wilson (a Dem) that finally gave the women the right to vote only because he was forced to. (so it was a great change for Kennedy to come in the 60's) The Democratic party seemed to be focused on movement and progress for all... equality for all... never did it use to be so focused on race or class... this is sad to me. Now the Republican party seemed to be the dragging the feet party for awhile.. I'm sure deep down they wish everyone to be equal, but reality check not everyone can be equal... so for that I agree, but not to the extent we have gone. I also believe in choices for a lot of things.... abortion, gay marriage etc. I guess what I am saying is that both parties are a let down right now... fighting like a brother and sister... one being the stick in the mud... the other being with wild child... not to sound like a Miss America contestant, but can't we all just get along and find balance?
When it comes to life we all need to realize it is truly precious. With so many natural disasters coming in recent years, so have said the world is coming to an end etc etc. All things come to an end... and it should just remind people how precious life truly is. Do you ever wonder what happened to the ancient Egyptians or the Romans? Natural disasters... corruption... people taking over the system... sometimes I think natural disasters are ways that God reminds us life is precious... at any moment you can be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. How is it then that so many people live life like they themselves are Godlike? When these big disasters come through several lives are lost... is this God's way of hitting the reset button and cleaning out over populated areas? That is an extremely harsh thought I know, but seriously the earth only can support so many people before we all parish and are fighting over water and oil until we blow the shit out of each other.... killing everyone. Most of you that truly know me know that I would give the shirt off my back to someone I know really needed it. I am quite compassionate, but honest... it always comes back to honesty for me... There are reasons why great civilizations have crumbled before we were even a dream in God's eyes... I only hope I am not around to see it. If current projections are correct we will be out of our major resources for the world around 2058. That is why I try to recycle as much as I can and support green building practices whenever possible.
So I just want to clarify a few things... yes I support gay marriage... I think it is hard enough in this world to find someone you want to be with your entire life no matter who you are and I think it is shitty for government to say who you can be with. Also, I do support abortion... if a woman does not want a child and is brave enough to go get it done, I think that is a strong person. If a woman knows that she cannot take care of a child or does not want a child because of certain circumstances, what right do we have to make her carry a child and then give it away?! We have none in my opinion.
I guess that bring us right around to religion... wow religion... this is an interesting subject for me because my grandparents were missionaries (in Haiti) and I was always told if you didn't live a good Christian life you were going to hell (LOL) I gotta laugh sorry! The greatest thing we have in life is hope and the faith that there is something greater our there. I personally believe that if you are a productive member of society and you have a belief or faith that there is something watching over us... you will be just fine in life. I do not think it is fair for people to say if you do not go to Church you will go to hell. To me most churches are a giant melting pot and crock of shit (sorry!)The God business is the biggest business in the world no matter what religion you are! I think you can talk to God everyday without going to church... now there are some churches that focus on fellowship and outreach in positive manners... that is something I can get on board with. I think that most churches have gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of the world and become greedy. Don't get me wrong I know that there are people that need a church atmosphere to stay focused, sober or happy... they need that structure and fellowship to lead a healthy life...however I find is very frustrating for those same people to tell me I am not leading a whole life by not attending church. I went to church when I was younger, by my own accord... I was baptized on my own and went to youth group a lot. I liked the fun atmosphere and met a lot of great people. However, as I grew older I noticed a shift in the churches... most being centered on giving money... if I didn't give 10% of my earnings to the church I was not a complete Christian... news flash... God knows how much my mortgage costs and he knows I need every penny. To me that is horse shit to tell someone. If I do not give specifically 10% I am not going to be saved. I think there are several ways to give... one being food and shelter to people in need whenever necessary. I have friends that go through rough patches... I am there to cook for them, help them out by finding odd jobs for them to do and even from time to time a couch to crash on. If someone is truly trying in life... I want to help them succeed the way I ave been helped. Leading a straight and narrow life is not easy, but it is rewarding. The biggest problem I have with most churches is the people in them... seeing people I know run their businesses unethically... people I know are cheating on their husband or wife (sitting there smiling with their wife right there)... people I see drinking themselves almost to death or acting like an ass at bars acting Godly at church... they are saved each time they repent... going to church is like a quick fix for these people... and I choose not to be around them. If that makes me a bad person then fuck it. I truly believe if you have a good heart... get control of any addictions you have, stay focused and be a productive member of society there is a place for you in whatever heaven there may be after life.
Another thing about religion that kills me is the fact that every single religion thinks they are the only real and true thing out there... Most religions are centered around 3 different things - Christianity (father, son, holy spirit)... now look at the religions of the world... it is the same thing with different 3... perhaps we all actually believe the same thing, but cultural differences and time have pushed us in millions of different directions. I am not really sure... but the only thing I am sure about is that if you lead a productive life, are happy with yourself, find love, be kind to everyone in your world and strive to be the best version of yourself everyday... there is no way to have a terrible life. We all need something to hope for and have faith in... so religion is not a negative thing... but we need to take a step back and realize that people are people and we all need different things out of life. I live my life in 3's as well... I know there is good, bad and everything else... these reason for my lower back tattoo... everything is connected and it always goes in cycles... do not take for granted the good and do not worry so much about the bad.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Clarification
So today I posted a status message on facebook that seemed to ruffle a lot of feathers... usually I am all for ruffling feathers, but this topic in particular really hit a nerve with a few people. Most of you know I am quite sarcastic and say whatever is on my mind. My intentions are not to offend people, but rather to shed light on things most people are too big of pussy ass bitches to say. Let's get to it then...
You know what...I am just going to start out with a super short history recap of the fabulous miss Jessica... do you know exactly who I am? I grew up in Klamath Falls, OR... I graduated high school early... worked my ass off and took some college classes in high school. Had an internship at OIT when I was 16 for the Applied Environmental Sciences Department... it was pretty sweet... I won the science fair in high school my junior year. Yes nerd extraordinaire I know... went to college at Uni of Oregon.. yes I was a duck. I dropped out after 2 years... I felt bad for wasting money and frankly felt like I was wasting my time. When I got to college I expected to learn something... NOT to go to class to learn things I was taught in the 10th grade. When at college I had an awesome opportunity to go to New York for the summer doing an internship in marketing. Crazy shit... long crazy summer! SO it's not as if I was raised in bfe with no life experience.... lol well alright I was raised in bfe, but that is beside the point.
Now that you have a bit of history on me... I gotta get something off my chest... I love all of the people in my life dearly, but it kills me that so many are closed minded... especially in the times we are living in. I grew up in a very conservative rural community... somehow I became the opinionated bitch I am today in the midst of all that. To this day it literally kills me that there are people I know and associate with that are outright bigots, racists etc etc that do not welcome change at all. I am not saying it's not ok to have an opinion and support your own ideas! However, still using racist and ignorant terms really does bother me. People are people... we are all unique and special in our own ways. It has nothing to do with our race, class, sex, sexual orientation... etc etc. Yes I said sex... in the town I am from there are still a lot of sexist people that do not think women should be in certain industries and visa versa. It is crazy to me that if someone is qualified for a job that they do not get it because of how they look etc. How is this still possible in this day and age. I swear if I was alive in the 1920's I would have been in jail with Alice Paul and Lucy Burns... picketing Wilson... one of the 'radicals' that just wanted to be able to be a citizen... less than 100 years since women could even vote... how far we have come, but how much farther we need to go. I suppose that is why I am so strong... people need to know what is up and just be respectful of who other people are as individuals... not liking everyone, but appreciating the differences. The differences are what make life fun :-)
I guess I just needed to say that and remind people that no matter if you like what I have to say or not it is not going to stop me. It may bother you as I have stated some things that bother me, but I do not want you to agree with me.... well actually I think I should be president of the world someday LOL... kidding (or am I). The thing that cracks me up the most is when someone tells me I am closed minded because I speak the way I do (how closed minded are the ones that tell everyone else how closed minded they are)... I am just stating my opinion here people... smile... know that you are the only one that can make yourself happy and stop trying to appease the world... if you look in the mirror and are happy that is all that matters.
"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years."
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
You know what...I am just going to start out with a super short history recap of the fabulous miss Jessica... do you know exactly who I am? I grew up in Klamath Falls, OR... I graduated high school early... worked my ass off and took some college classes in high school. Had an internship at OIT when I was 16 for the Applied Environmental Sciences Department... it was pretty sweet... I won the science fair in high school my junior year. Yes nerd extraordinaire I know... went to college at Uni of Oregon.. yes I was a duck. I dropped out after 2 years... I felt bad for wasting money and frankly felt like I was wasting my time. When I got to college I expected to learn something... NOT to go to class to learn things I was taught in the 10th grade. When at college I had an awesome opportunity to go to New York for the summer doing an internship in marketing. Crazy shit... long crazy summer! SO it's not as if I was raised in bfe with no life experience.... lol well alright I was raised in bfe, but that is beside the point.
Now that you have a bit of history on me... I gotta get something off my chest... I love all of the people in my life dearly, but it kills me that so many are closed minded... especially in the times we are living in. I grew up in a very conservative rural community... somehow I became the opinionated bitch I am today in the midst of all that. To this day it literally kills me that there are people I know and associate with that are outright bigots, racists etc etc that do not welcome change at all. I am not saying it's not ok to have an opinion and support your own ideas! However, still using racist and ignorant terms really does bother me. People are people... we are all unique and special in our own ways. It has nothing to do with our race, class, sex, sexual orientation... etc etc. Yes I said sex... in the town I am from there are still a lot of sexist people that do not think women should be in certain industries and visa versa. It is crazy to me that if someone is qualified for a job that they do not get it because of how they look etc. How is this still possible in this day and age. I swear if I was alive in the 1920's I would have been in jail with Alice Paul and Lucy Burns... picketing Wilson... one of the 'radicals' that just wanted to be able to be a citizen... less than 100 years since women could even vote... how far we have come, but how much farther we need to go. I suppose that is why I am so strong... people need to know what is up and just be respectful of who other people are as individuals... not liking everyone, but appreciating the differences. The differences are what make life fun :-)
I guess I just needed to say that and remind people that no matter if you like what I have to say or not it is not going to stop me. It may bother you as I have stated some things that bother me, but I do not want you to agree with me.... well actually I think I should be president of the world someday LOL... kidding (or am I). The thing that cracks me up the most is when someone tells me I am closed minded because I speak the way I do (how closed minded are the ones that tell everyone else how closed minded they are)... I am just stating my opinion here people... smile... know that you are the only one that can make yourself happy and stop trying to appease the world... if you look in the mirror and are happy that is all that matters.
"If there were in the world today any large number of people who desired their own happiness more than they desired the unhappiness of others, we could have paradise in a few years."
Bertrand Russell (1872 - 1970)
Monday, January 25, 2010
Never judge a book by it's cover
So recently I have noticed that people are becoming more judgemental about others around them... and when I mean judgemental I mean rude! Don't get me wrong I enjoy laughing at the random people of Klamath Falls behind their back like any other person... but I am speaking about people just being a total, disrespectful cuntface for no reason (at a place of work)to someones face. When someone comes to my place of business they know I am going to give them the best damn customer service around. When it is work time I am serious and polite! I have always been raised that no matter what a persons outer appearance may be, they could be the wealthiest person in the world. I grew up in construction with a grandpa as a logger. Never judge a book by the cover... but what I am finding interesting is people's demeanor towards me. Have I mysteriously dropped off of the appearance scale so much that someone is going to treat me like the grossest, most ignorant piece of shit on the planet and seem offended that she has to speak to me? Due to the economy I no longer have an assistant or shop guy, so I am required to go load a customer up in the shop when they buy something... not a big deal in my eyes, but this does change my wardrobe slightly... jeans and tee shirts. Is that too gross for some people? LOL I certainly hope so. I guess what bothered me the most if exactly how she was treating me. Was this woman just so pissed about how boring her life is that she needs to be disrespectful? She was 'expecting me to be different' and was surprised that I was the person they were recommended to speak to. Side note here people... I love all of my customers, especially repeat customers that tell their friends about us! So I proceed to ask discovery questions to find exactly what they need, so I can give them the proper information... give them extra information on how to get a tax credit... and get them on their way. Of course it wasn't going to be that easy... right?! I think my favorite part of the conversation is when she kept glaring at me, staring at my arms, looking at my snow boots and crossing her arms and staring back at her husband... giving him that look of 'omg can we leave yet... she is scaring me and I want to go home'. Most of you know I am quite approachable and kind, especially at work! Now I understand some people are quite old school and no not appreciate my tattoos... but just because I have tattoos does not mean I am a serial killer or have ever been to prison (well for something bad, not to visit). The worst I have ever done is get a few speeding tickets :-) I like to get where I am going! My biggest question about this woman has nothing to do with her personally, but if she treats everyone this way or if I was just her lucky target that day? I suppose I can say I am proud of myself to being kind and answering all of their questions without asking her to leave. It takes a lot for me to get so pissed at a client I ask them to leave. Actually in all of my years in customer service it has only happened twice. Once when I worked at Kay Jeweler's in Eugene and a man got so upset about his ring not being returnable... apparently she said no... the policy clearly stated you cannot return a ring once it has been sized... I tried to tell him to wait to make sure it was the right size... I never told a client to wait to make sure she said yes LOL ~ One must be crafty when love is on the line. He told me he was going to come back and shoot me! Needless to say he was just upset that she said no and not upset with me as a person... however I did have mall security escort me to my car after work for 2 weeks. He came to senses and apologized. He ended up using the ring a year later and I assume he is still happy. Now the other time I got angry and asked someone to leave is when their children were running around my current office screaming... almost broke a display etc. They also had terrible mouths on them.. they were 5 and 6 year olds right... and the youngest ran behind my desk and said she think she broke something... the parents said nothing. SO I kindly asked the parents if they could watch their children better. She was offended! People like that shouldn't breed... then the little girl ran behind my desk and said 'my mommy says people like you are fat stupid pieces of shit'... really... and the mom just sits there saying nothing. SO I asked her kindly to come back when she does not have her children. Gee I wonder what those precious little angels will grown up to be :-) Most of you will notice we have a sign in our office saying our showroom and offices anr not a playground. Shit I remember when I was a kid... If I did anything out of line in a store or made a scene I knew I was getting spanked when we got home. See that's the problem with kids today... you can't spank them or the government freaks out! and people wonder why kids today are spoiled little fuck heads... It is what it is... and someday soon you won't even be able to get served at a fast food restaurant because kids today won't lower themselves to stop texting on their cell phone or get off myspace long enough to work for $8.50 an hour... yes the minimum wage in Oregon is $8.50! The sad thing right now is I have friends working in fast food right now because the economy is so shitty they need to pay bills... these are people with degrees and vast work experience... and the youngsters are too lazy to care... oh joy... I hope I do not live past 75... because frankly I do not think there will be anyone around as RN's and caregivers when I get there... who the hell is going to change my bed pan damnit!? Knowing my luck I will live to 95...
Ok... so I got off on all kinds of tangents there... typical Jessica :-) I guess the main thing I am trying to say is we do not need to love everyone (Jackie Moon is a dream).... but respecting our differences and embracing the differences that make up our own individuality that founded this nation, makes our lives richer. Just because someone looks a certain way on the outside does not mean we understand what is on the inside. I am really blessed in life to have so many different types of people in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way! Just because you are a business person does not necessarily mean you need to be a certain way or have certain people in your life. One thing I have learned in my life is that when we open ourselves up to true emotions and true reality... our lives are not only richer for it... but it's like finding a pot of gold at the end of a freaky ass rainbow everyday. Life isn't about where you get in life, but all the people you meet in it... no matter how many possessions we have... it always comes back to the people... we the people...
Ok... so I got off on all kinds of tangents there... typical Jessica :-) I guess the main thing I am trying to say is we do not need to love everyone (Jackie Moon is a dream).... but respecting our differences and embracing the differences that make up our own individuality that founded this nation, makes our lives richer. Just because someone looks a certain way on the outside does not mean we understand what is on the inside. I am really blessed in life to have so many different types of people in my life and I wouldn't have it any other way! Just because you are a business person does not necessarily mean you need to be a certain way or have certain people in your life. One thing I have learned in my life is that when we open ourselves up to true emotions and true reality... our lives are not only richer for it... but it's like finding a pot of gold at the end of a freaky ass rainbow everyday. Life isn't about where you get in life, but all the people you meet in it... no matter how many possessions we have... it always comes back to the people... we the people...
Monday, January 18, 2010
Simplify
For most of my life I have been an over achiever... pushed very hard by my family to always do well... not saying it is a bad things, but it has always made me over analyze things. This related to my love life in a huge way... I always date the wrong man right... my friends are all shaking their heads right now. I think though that I know why. It is hard to give your heart to someone when it still belongs to someone. It has taken me awhile, but taking a look back and simplifying things has made me realize I have already met me special someone. Yes I have said it... I am very much in love with someone. Distance keeps us apart for the time being, but someday we will be together. This person still gives me butterflies when I look into his eyes... even 3 years later... Giddy like a fucking school girl...
For me I always have been trying to find something 'better' because that is what we have been taught. Finding better has been nothing but a terrible journey for me... the thing is I NEVER TRULY THOUGHT THERE WAS BETTER... sure there are doctors or lawyers, which is what certain people in my life feel I need to be with, but men with money treat me like property. This isn't monopoly bitches and I am not for sale. Taking a step back from society this year (perhaps some of you noticed my absence) I have simplified my life and realized all I need or want is true love, family and a few good friends... from there everything else will fall in place. Luckily for me this is already so... and I gotta say my life is richer for it. Only you can determine what is right for your life... I know what is right for my life and I know where I am going. I know the people in my life right now are all beautiful and special... for which I am truly grateful!
I think the main thing I have come to learn in life seeing friends find and lose love (divorce etc etc) is we need to be happy when happiness finds us. Stop listening to the masses and listen to your own heart and mind... those are the two things we should hold dearest to ourselves. People always say don't settle... wtf how is being happy with the blessings and people in your life settling. Just because you don't think my bf is sexy or the right one for me... who the fuck are you. That goes for everyone... seriously who gives a shit if people think something. They are entitled to their opinion, but from what I can see it just stems from jealousy... jealousy that you have found happiness and they married someone because they were pregnant etc etc. This goes back to honesty... you need to be honest with yourself and what you want in life... if you never are honest with yourself you are fucked in life... you will always be a miserable bitch meddling with a life you wish you had. Here is a clue people.. if you are unhappy with something in your life change it! If you are too lazy to change it then shut the fuck up because we are all tired of listening to your shit :-)
I suppose all I am saying is that no matter what happens in my life I know I am truly lucky because most people never find someone that is their everything... best friend, lover, companion, protector and loyal. As humans we make mistakes and usually can never be given a second chance to just live and be happy. Second chances rarely happen... let's be real. To my love I want to say thank you... thank you for loving me for all I am... Intelligent, bitchy, goofy, dorky, witty, independent, caring, focused, driven... I know at times it seems like the world around us is crashing... people sabotaging, but I am here... waiting until we can truly be one...
For me I always have been trying to find something 'better' because that is what we have been taught. Finding better has been nothing but a terrible journey for me... the thing is I NEVER TRULY THOUGHT THERE WAS BETTER... sure there are doctors or lawyers, which is what certain people in my life feel I need to be with, but men with money treat me like property. This isn't monopoly bitches and I am not for sale. Taking a step back from society this year (perhaps some of you noticed my absence) I have simplified my life and realized all I need or want is true love, family and a few good friends... from there everything else will fall in place. Luckily for me this is already so... and I gotta say my life is richer for it. Only you can determine what is right for your life... I know what is right for my life and I know where I am going. I know the people in my life right now are all beautiful and special... for which I am truly grateful!
I think the main thing I have come to learn in life seeing friends find and lose love (divorce etc etc) is we need to be happy when happiness finds us. Stop listening to the masses and listen to your own heart and mind... those are the two things we should hold dearest to ourselves. People always say don't settle... wtf how is being happy with the blessings and people in your life settling. Just because you don't think my bf is sexy or the right one for me... who the fuck are you. That goes for everyone... seriously who gives a shit if people think something. They are entitled to their opinion, but from what I can see it just stems from jealousy... jealousy that you have found happiness and they married someone because they were pregnant etc etc. This goes back to honesty... you need to be honest with yourself and what you want in life... if you never are honest with yourself you are fucked in life... you will always be a miserable bitch meddling with a life you wish you had. Here is a clue people.. if you are unhappy with something in your life change it! If you are too lazy to change it then shut the fuck up because we are all tired of listening to your shit :-)
I suppose all I am saying is that no matter what happens in my life I know I am truly lucky because most people never find someone that is their everything... best friend, lover, companion, protector and loyal. As humans we make mistakes and usually can never be given a second chance to just live and be happy. Second chances rarely happen... let's be real. To my love I want to say thank you... thank you for loving me for all I am... Intelligent, bitchy, goofy, dorky, witty, independent, caring, focused, driven... I know at times it seems like the world around us is crashing... people sabotaging, but I am here... waiting until we can truly be one...
Friday, January 15, 2010
Blumpkin?!
Alright... so I consider myself to be somewhat well versed in sexual verbage... I mean shit I grew up around loggers and contractors... it was bound to happen. Recently though a friend of mine was kind of enough to drunk dial me and start rambling about wanting a blumpkin... not thinking much about it and kindly getting him to call someone else, I went back to sleep. The next day I called one of my other guy friends to see just what all the blumpkin business is about. He told me that it would be best to google it... now I know why LOL ~ I gotta say when I found out I was like wtf.. what kind of nasty bitch does that shit? Don't get me wrong I have had my share of kinky shit in my life... but really.. that was a little much for even me (side note - yeah I will never give any guy a blumpkin... so don't even ask unless you want your junk cut off! sorry!) (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=blumpkin)
Now I am sure all of you are wondering what a blumpkin truly is... for this answer I will refer to the Urban Dictionary ~ BLUMPKIN: "The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump." Yeah... so yeah um where to go from here. I just also need to mention in guy land isn't the order for getting ready to take a shit, shower and shave? That would also mean not only would a lady have to smell shit, but also sweaty balls. Seriously... hell no! I don't know about you'll but that in itself would make me vomit... if a guys doesn't have clean junk a bj would never happen in the first place.
This is just one of those moments that I gotta say you are truly a special breed if you have successfully given a blumpkin.
You know that Urban Dictionary site is quite interesting... there are a few other things I had not actually heard of until reading it. Thank God for the Internet right... that way all the sick fucks of the world can put on blast all the nasty shit they enjoy in life. Not my place to judge, but only my place to write about it the rest of us can share in the 'simple' joys of life.
Now I am sure all of you are wondering what a blumpkin truly is... for this answer I will refer to the Urban Dictionary ~ BLUMPKIN: "The delicately balanced art of getting your cock sucked while taking a dump." Yeah... so yeah um where to go from here. I just also need to mention in guy land isn't the order for getting ready to take a shit, shower and shave? That would also mean not only would a lady have to smell shit, but also sweaty balls. Seriously... hell no! I don't know about you'll but that in itself would make me vomit... if a guys doesn't have clean junk a bj would never happen in the first place.
This is just one of those moments that I gotta say you are truly a special breed if you have successfully given a blumpkin.
You know that Urban Dictionary site is quite interesting... there are a few other things I had not actually heard of until reading it. Thank God for the Internet right... that way all the sick fucks of the world can put on blast all the nasty shit they enjoy in life. Not my place to judge, but only my place to write about it the rest of us can share in the 'simple' joys of life.
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