Hello and Sorry...

Hello all you fabulous people! I want to say I am terribly sorry for not posting very much (ok well at all) for like a month now. You know how sometimes your life just consumes you and you feel like you are being pulled in 39.7 million different directions... well that has been me recently. I just have been in a very internalized mode and really focusing on myself. Sometimes I feel it is important to withdraw oneself from society for a moment to just refocus and center everything. We all get so caught up in the moment of our own selfish desires it is good to just step back and really focus on the priorities in our own lives. For me my priorities are my family, exploring love and my future with the person who makes me feel most like myself, my health and encouraging those around me in positive ways. Now most people reading this are like wtf... captain potty mouth bitch thinks she is Dr. fuckin Phil... well bitches I am as close as it gets... but my tits are bigger and my hair is much fuller LOL Seriously though... how often do we get a chance to reflect on exactly how we touch people's lives, how we make ourselves feel and what we can do to either change the results or move forward full steam ahead. I know this is hard for everyone in this economy... but the beauty of this situation is what does not kill us does truly make is stronger. We find as people that the less money we spend on items... the more we reach out to other people to interact and entertain us... It is how people in the olden days did it with no tv's... cell phone... etc. The world is just putting all it's inhabitants in check... we have become spoiled and bratty... if something isn't how we like it we just throw money at the problem or throw and tantrum and it is fixed. Now people are doing things for themselves again... finding inner strength and confidence that we have not had for a long while. Times like these really show us as people what we are made of. For me it has been a hard look in the mirror the last few years. I grew up quite comfortable... my family always made sure I had the best of everything and made sure the right tools were available for me to succeed. When I was 18/19 I had grown into the mindset that I was to be given everything... I 'deserved' it. For that it was really hard to look at myself and be proud of what I saw in the mirror. It is never hard to face what we are or were in life. I am truly blessed to have the family I do... even when I was ugly to them they kept being supportive and pushing me to make good decisions. Now most of you who have known me a long time realize I have not always made good decisions, but I was never a troublemaker... I just liked to push the boundaries a bit :-) The guilt I have felt for my behavior and attitude for those years is indescribable and unexcused. The only good thing I can say is I learned from my past and have now become the 'well adjusted' person I am today. To anyone that feels like that were never given a fair chance in life or never had it good... take a look in the mirror.. just because you were not handed something does not mean you are not capable of making something of yourself or being positive in life. Every person has the same chance of succeeding in life... it is what you do with that chance that matters... and if you screw up you are only human... take that second chance if it comes around and never look back.

Sometimes looking in the mirror and realizing the truth is the only way to move on and focus on what is here and now.