So recently I have been having memories from several years ago... like almost 10 years ago. It is quite odd to me only for the fact that I have repressed many of these memories, not on purpose, but I just was unable to remember part of my life. May seem strange to some, but kind of how I have been. I am not sure why these memories have been emerging, but in a way I am glad. To truly move on in life we need to remember our past, reconcile any issues we have had and then face our future with a clear heart and mind. For this I am grateful! Maybe it has been the time I have spent away on vacation that has allowed me to clear everything out, but for once I truly feel this is where I am suppose to be and moving in the direction I want to move as a person.
I have been catching up on some reality shows I recorded when I was on vacation and if you really watch them with an open mind you can actually learn something from them! I watched Tough Love Couples with Steve Ward... that dude is no joke... he lays it all on the line and is down right honest. From watching that show I actually see maybe why some of my relationships have been so rocky (not just because some of them were lame ass drug addict piece of shit motherfuckers). I tend to have a hard time trusting people and letting the negative go. This is a personal struggle for me and one that takes time to repair. I know how I react to certain situations and I need to remember just because something happened in the past, does not mean it is going to happen in the future. We are all human, including myself, and second chances need to be given with an open heart and open mind if love is really going to flourish. If something is worth that love, then those steps need to be taken or love will vanish...
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Vegas... Final Post
Ok - Vegas is bitchin' people! And by bitchin' I mean totally fucking awesome! It is much different trip for me this time though... I am not looking for anything... just having fun with Sally and spending time with my Brother. As I get older I realize the most important things to me are family and friends because at the end of the day if the whole world goes to shit, that is all you have.
I have had a lot of great food in Vegas... pasta galore and cheesecake :-) Ryan/Ellen and I went to the most amazing restaurant I have ever been to in my life! It over looked the airport and the strip... I had an amazing concoction of pasta and fillet Minot... melted in my mouth like butter! The best part of the restaurant would have to be the service... this was the type of restaurant with old school service, class and style. The maitre d' greets you and accompanies you to your table... kisses your cheeks and pulls your chair out for you... places the napkin in your lap. Then a gentleman bring waters and drink for the table... someone else brings the salads, another the entree and another brings the dessert. The manager stops at each table for a few genuine moments to make sure everything is absolutely perfect and when you leave yo feel like a million bucks. I am not one for fancy restaurants where you need to dress up, but this was a great experience. Usually when you go to a swanky joint, they make you feel less than worthy to dine there, but this place made you feel special. That is how I strive to be with the clients I have at my office... welcomed, well cared for and like a million bucks when hey leave. It was amazing to have that kind of excellence, since it is so rare in this day and age.
The day after the amazing dinner Ryan and I went up to Mount Charleston for lunch. This place is less than an hour away from Las Vegas and it is like a magical castle hidden away in the hills. There was still a lot of snow up on it and the lodge/cabins were so cute and quaint! It was like being up on a cloud and floating above everything... time stood still and my brother and I were able to just laugh and reminisce about things of the past. I always feel so good when I can spend time with my brother. Besides the one I love, he is the only one that seems to truly get me and understand me as a person... it is refreshing :-)
The last part of my trip I took a few days to do absolutely nothing... then I got 2 new tattoos. There is something so meditative about getting tattooed that I love. The pain releases a lot of pent up sadness, anger and hurt in my life. Whenever I am able to get work done I truly feel little weights lifted off of me and floating above the world. It is an experience that always seem to clear my head and focus me on exactly what I need in life at that moment. Friends and family are what I am focused on right now and myself... I am going to focus on being the best possible version of myself I can be...
I have had a lot of great food in Vegas... pasta galore and cheesecake :-) Ryan/Ellen and I went to the most amazing restaurant I have ever been to in my life! It over looked the airport and the strip... I had an amazing concoction of pasta and fillet Minot... melted in my mouth like butter! The best part of the restaurant would have to be the service... this was the type of restaurant with old school service, class and style. The maitre d' greets you and accompanies you to your table... kisses your cheeks and pulls your chair out for you... places the napkin in your lap. Then a gentleman bring waters and drink for the table... someone else brings the salads, another the entree and another brings the dessert. The manager stops at each table for a few genuine moments to make sure everything is absolutely perfect and when you leave yo feel like a million bucks. I am not one for fancy restaurants where you need to dress up, but this was a great experience. Usually when you go to a swanky joint, they make you feel less than worthy to dine there, but this place made you feel special. That is how I strive to be with the clients I have at my office... welcomed, well cared for and like a million bucks when hey leave. It was amazing to have that kind of excellence, since it is so rare in this day and age.
The day after the amazing dinner Ryan and I went up to Mount Charleston for lunch. This place is less than an hour away from Las Vegas and it is like a magical castle hidden away in the hills. There was still a lot of snow up on it and the lodge/cabins were so cute and quaint! It was like being up on a cloud and floating above everything... time stood still and my brother and I were able to just laugh and reminisce about things of the past. I always feel so good when I can spend time with my brother. Besides the one I love, he is the only one that seems to truly get me and understand me as a person... it is refreshing :-)
The last part of my trip I took a few days to do absolutely nothing... then I got 2 new tattoos. There is something so meditative about getting tattooed that I love. The pain releases a lot of pent up sadness, anger and hurt in my life. Whenever I am able to get work done I truly feel little weights lifted off of me and floating above the world. It is an experience that always seem to clear my head and focus me on exactly what I need in life at that moment. Friends and family are what I am focused on right now and myself... I am going to focus on being the best possible version of myself I can be...
Monday, April 12, 2010
Vegas Day 2
Wow is all I can say about Vegas at this point... not because we have done anything spectacular, but simply for having fun no matter where we are. Sally and I had dinner with my brother and Ellen tonight... it was a ton of fun! Our poor waiter is all I can say... he thought I was a totally looney toon! Hmmm perhaps I am one :-) Every time he came back to the table we were laughing our asses off at random conversation.... apparently Ryan thinks Oprah is a lesbian... I mean go for it I suppose... Ricky Martin just came out so what the hell. Then the conversation turned from lesbians to having money in the bank.... and by bank I mean asshole and by money I mean someones cock... there will be no withdrawals or deposits in the Bank of Jessica. From that I decided it would be funny to make money condoms... that way there literally could be money in the bank... that turned into Ryan and Ellen thinking I should start my own adult novelty products. The final straw at dinner somehow lead everyone to agreeing I should become a porn script writer because I am so creative and apparently everything that comes out of my mouth is dripping in sexual innuendos. I guess if I get bored that can be my weekend job LOL. How funny for my brother to say that. So, needless to say we were laughing our asses off. It was a lovely dinner and good to see Ryan. Dude he needs a serious haircut... He is starting to look like Snidley Whiplash from one of those 70's cartoons..... funny right!?
Sally and I decided to make our way back to the strip after dinner on the way back to the condo... all kinds of crazy people were walking the streets already and we had some interesting characters pull up next to us in the bumper to bumper traffic. We pulled up to the nasty hooptie ride and the driver is like yo ma... yo sup? OMG really?! I need to give him credit... Sally and I laughed for a good couple of days off his pickup line.... "Hey baby... my name is Paco and I want to eat your taco" Really bro... thank God I had my ring on my finger... I told him I didn't think my husband would like that very much and Sally didn't have an excuse so we switched lanes quick LOL - Yeah I am not really married, but it felt good to say :-) Glad I have a sweet man in my life that knows I am there for him 100%. After we got away from Paco the taco eater... we pulled up next to this limo full of tons of shitfaced guys.... They were all in there mid 30s I would have guessed and they proceed to ask me if I would be their cougar. WTF... first of all ewww, but seriously I am only 26... how the fuck can I be a cougar... I proceed to give them a piece of my mind and they proceeded to roll their window up :-) People crack me up and my favorite part of Vegas really is people watching!
So we made it back to the condo and decided to get dolled up and make our way down the trip on foot. All kinds of crazies were out and we ended up walking a good 4-5 miles that night... from Caesar's Palace to New York, New York and everything between. The city is really pretty at night, but very strange. Of all the city's I have been to, Vegas is one of the cleanest. Late at night they have power washing crews that wash the streets, sidewalks and over passes of the entire strip... the whole city is constantly pristine and clean... One of the only benefits of Vegas I think. The night ended very relaxing and with a ride from a very nice driver. The service people are so kind in Vegas :-)
Sally and I decided to make our way back to the strip after dinner on the way back to the condo... all kinds of crazy people were walking the streets already and we had some interesting characters pull up next to us in the bumper to bumper traffic. We pulled up to the nasty hooptie ride and the driver is like yo ma... yo sup? OMG really?! I need to give him credit... Sally and I laughed for a good couple of days off his pickup line.... "Hey baby... my name is Paco and I want to eat your taco" Really bro... thank God I had my ring on my finger... I told him I didn't think my husband would like that very much and Sally didn't have an excuse so we switched lanes quick LOL - Yeah I am not really married, but it felt good to say :-) Glad I have a sweet man in my life that knows I am there for him 100%. After we got away from Paco the taco eater... we pulled up next to this limo full of tons of shitfaced guys.... They were all in there mid 30s I would have guessed and they proceed to ask me if I would be their cougar. WTF... first of all ewww, but seriously I am only 26... how the fuck can I be a cougar... I proceed to give them a piece of my mind and they proceeded to roll their window up :-) People crack me up and my favorite part of Vegas really is people watching!
So we made it back to the condo and decided to get dolled up and make our way down the trip on foot. All kinds of crazies were out and we ended up walking a good 4-5 miles that night... from Caesar's Palace to New York, New York and everything between. The city is really pretty at night, but very strange. Of all the city's I have been to, Vegas is one of the cleanest. Late at night they have power washing crews that wash the streets, sidewalks and over passes of the entire strip... the whole city is constantly pristine and clean... One of the only benefits of Vegas I think. The night ended very relaxing and with a ride from a very nice driver. The service people are so kind in Vegas :-)
Sunday, April 11, 2010
Vegas... Getting there/Day 1
Ok so it has been a little bit since I have gone on a real vacation right people... so I have made my way to the fabulous Las Vegas Nevada. It is just a quick 11.5 hour drive down through barren open lands... which actually are quite beautiful. I am a road warrior... I only stop 3 times... when I am going somewhere I just like to get there and not fuss about everything. It was a pretty smooth trip down though and it was nice to clear my head and focus on myself for once. I got up at 3am and finished packing.. got ready and was on the road at 430am... pulled into Vegas at approximately 345pm... then got stuck in traffic on the 15 south for about 30 minutes.... nightmare! But all in all and smooth trip and good time was made :-) On the way down I say a lot of places closes from the economy in that smaller towns... it was kind of sad because I know it is going to be awhile before things turn around here too. The thing that surprised me the most way the whore houses... of all the lady ranches I passed only 1 was still open... what is the world coming to when people do not even have money to keep brothels open... I mean really LOL. Seriously though it makes me feel very blessed to be able to have a roof over my head on a daily basis and be able to take time of and go on a vacation... even if I do not have money to spend while on vacation... this is Vegas... plenty to do for free :-) Ok so confession... I brought a ton of alcohol with me.... just a perk of being able to drive here :-) that was I can people watch have fun and be sauced without it costing a penny... I have been hoarding good vodka in my freezer for like a year now... figured this was as good of time as any to use it :-)
Ok so once I arrived in Vegas I met up with the fabulous Sally Sloan (Brown)... we got ourselves put together and made our way (stumbled) to the strip. There were some crazy ladies on the shuttle from the condo with us... this lady was awesome... just like me... no filter on anything she says. Made me laugh so much! So I guess it is true people... I am a sassy black woman trapped in some white bitches body LOL I now understand myself...this is a thing of beauty to know :-). We arrived at the fabulous Caesar's Palace... we found out Caesar moved out last year after the Hangover movie came out because too many people were stalking him :-) Ok maybe not, but it sounds good. There was a line around the block to get into Pure night club and everyone was rude so we said fuck it and just started wandering around the forum shops... somehow we ended up outside and down the street to the Venetian... Tao night club had a line all the way out past the shops where the gondola rides are.... and everyone was dressed like a total ho... we were dressed ho casual with jeans and slutty shirts... apparently that was not good enough for Vegas LOL. I thought so but whatever. We made our way to the Grand Luxe cafe for a midnight snack and drinks... good drinks! Somehow we stumbled around and met a bunch of people until about 2 am when this town car driver swooped us up and brought us home. Very nice guy! I am very lucky to meet good genuine people when in Vegas.
I just want to say sorry to anyone I drunk texted or dialed last night... love you all! Tonight is round 2 and I am excited to go to a few new places we have not been yet and meet more people :-)
Ok so once I arrived in Vegas I met up with the fabulous Sally Sloan (Brown)... we got ourselves put together and made our way (stumbled) to the strip. There were some crazy ladies on the shuttle from the condo with us... this lady was awesome... just like me... no filter on anything she says. Made me laugh so much! So I guess it is true people... I am a sassy black woman trapped in some white bitches body LOL I now understand myself...this is a thing of beauty to know :-). We arrived at the fabulous Caesar's Palace... we found out Caesar moved out last year after the Hangover movie came out because too many people were stalking him :-) Ok maybe not, but it sounds good. There was a line around the block to get into Pure night club and everyone was rude so we said fuck it and just started wandering around the forum shops... somehow we ended up outside and down the street to the Venetian... Tao night club had a line all the way out past the shops where the gondola rides are.... and everyone was dressed like a total ho... we were dressed ho casual with jeans and slutty shirts... apparently that was not good enough for Vegas LOL. I thought so but whatever. We made our way to the Grand Luxe cafe for a midnight snack and drinks... good drinks! Somehow we stumbled around and met a bunch of people until about 2 am when this town car driver swooped us up and brought us home. Very nice guy! I am very lucky to meet good genuine people when in Vegas.
I just want to say sorry to anyone I drunk texted or dialed last night... love you all! Tonight is round 2 and I am excited to go to a few new places we have not been yet and meet more people :-)
Monday, March 29, 2010
Hello and Sorry...
Hello all you fabulous people! I want to say I am terribly sorry for not posting very much (ok well at all) for like a month now. You know how sometimes your life just consumes you and you feel like you are being pulled in 39.7 million different directions... well that has been me recently. I just have been in a very internalized mode and really focusing on myself. Sometimes I feel it is important to withdraw oneself from society for a moment to just refocus and center everything. We all get so caught up in the moment of our own selfish desires it is good to just step back and really focus on the priorities in our own lives. For me my priorities are my family, exploring love and my future with the person who makes me feel most like myself, my health and encouraging those around me in positive ways. Now most people reading this are like wtf... captain potty mouth bitch thinks she is Dr. fuckin Phil... well bitches I am as close as it gets... but my tits are bigger and my hair is much fuller LOL Seriously though... how often do we get a chance to reflect on exactly how we touch people's lives, how we make ourselves feel and what we can do to either change the results or move forward full steam ahead. I know this is hard for everyone in this economy... but the beauty of this situation is what does not kill us does truly make is stronger. We find as people that the less money we spend on items... the more we reach out to other people to interact and entertain us... It is how people in the olden days did it with no tv's... cell phone... etc. The world is just putting all it's inhabitants in check... we have become spoiled and bratty... if something isn't how we like it we just throw money at the problem or throw and tantrum and it is fixed. Now people are doing things for themselves again... finding inner strength and confidence that we have not had for a long while. Times like these really show us as people what we are made of. For me it has been a hard look in the mirror the last few years. I grew up quite comfortable... my family always made sure I had the best of everything and made sure the right tools were available for me to succeed. When I was 18/19 I had grown into the mindset that I was to be given everything... I 'deserved' it. For that it was really hard to look at myself and be proud of what I saw in the mirror. It is never hard to face what we are or were in life. I am truly blessed to have the family I do... even when I was ugly to them they kept being supportive and pushing me to make good decisions. Now most of you who have known me a long time realize I have not always made good decisions, but I was never a troublemaker... I just liked to push the boundaries a bit :-) The guilt I have felt for my behavior and attitude for those years is indescribable and unexcused. The only good thing I can say is I learned from my past and have now become the 'well adjusted' person I am today. To anyone that feels like that were never given a fair chance in life or never had it good... take a look in the mirror.. just because you were not handed something does not mean you are not capable of making something of yourself or being positive in life. Every person has the same chance of succeeding in life... it is what you do with that chance that matters... and if you screw up you are only human... take that second chance if it comes around and never look back.
Sometimes looking in the mirror and realizing the truth is the only way to move on and focus on what is here and now.
Sometimes looking in the mirror and realizing the truth is the only way to move on and focus on what is here and now.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Role Model...
When we think today of whom a role model should be what comes to mind…. Is it a celebrity or a family member… a coach… who is someone that influences your life in a positive way? The reason I ask is because recently we have seen a ton of celebrities falling off the wagon so to speak and not living up to an even sub-human status… cheating on wives, murder… drug assuage, etc etc… why do we hold celebrities up so high on pedestals for them to fall off? Why don’t more people focus on looking up to someone that is more tangible to them… someone that will actually be there for them as a role model and not someone that has just become famous by some random talent or sheer dumb luck. I guess I have always been lucky enough to have positive influences in my life from my family, friends and people that have touched me in different places of my life. I like knowing I have people in my life that help me stay focused… push me to always be the best I can be. Maybe the problem with celebrities being made to be role models is that they do not want people to look up to them. The thing is sometimes we cannot choose who looks up to us or what actions the will do. A lot of young people tend to follow celebrities and mimic things that they do to match those of their idol. Obviously we shouldn’t hold celebrities accountable for things people do because they want to be like them, but the celebrity needs to realize when they choose the job they do… they are automatically thrust into the spotlight and their lives are lived under a microscope to the world. The thing about this is that most celebrities end up living double lives… take Tiger Woods for example… yeah I am going to pick on Tiger… he has been leading a double life for several years now. At least he has stepped up to the plate and admitted what he has done. The thing is he is someone that had been a trailblazer for not only the sport of golf, but for African American sports figures in general. He has conned all of America into thinking he is an amazing person. The other side of the coin could be said that Tiger started this abnormal behavior after his father’s death. Look at the time line… he was absolutely perfect at everything he did for years… over a decade in the spotlight and no tarnish on his image. Then we see him unravel in front of everyone… a man broken only by jealousy of his lover’s. I mean seriously LOL When I was 18 I dated 2 guys at the same time and it was exhausting! How the hell did he have time for 5 or 6 or 7… for almost 4 years and having a wife and kids and being the leading golfer of all time? Sometimes I think we all need to realize that celebrities are just like us… human for the most part and also held at a higher standard because they are in the spotlight. I guess in a way it is a double standard for us to make celebrities into something they do not want to be and also when many of us are or have done the things they are doing… our lives are not blast all over the internet or tv either. If we shit the wrong way or go drinking one night in Vegas it doesn’t end up on TMZ the next day. Being a celebrity can open up a lot of doors, but it also closes the right for you to be a normal person and do normal things. The thing is if you do not choose to be a role model whether you are famous or not, you need to realize as a human other humans are always seeking for something to believe in or look up to. This is why we should all try to be the best version of ourselves in life and not sweat the small stuff
I have been told many times that I am a good role model or I should watch the things I do because there are several people that are looking up to me. This is not a role I have chosen, but it is something to consider when doing daily things in life. I live my life honestly and focus on being the best version of myself on a daily basis. The thing is being myself also tends to be what some people would say is not a good a role model. I am me… loud both in spirit and being, silly, goofy, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, not a fashion model size, too tall, obnoxious, cuss like a sailor that married a logger and passionate about all I am. Just because someone is not the ideal vision of what a role model is, does that mean they are any less of a role model or that they are not a good person? I am gonna go with a no… I think someone like me that is successful and motivated can motivate other young people to be successful and embrace everything that they are in life. I think one of the biggest issues in our society these days is people trying to be something they are not because others around them are not accepting them for who they truly are. When I was in high school I always imagined being accepted by my peers, but let’s face it… the tall/fat/brainiac kid is not the first on the acceptance list. The thing I have found through the years is that the people that were the accepted crowd were the ones that were actually pretending to be something they are not and making everyone else buy into it. I have talked to a few people that were mean to me… some of them owned up to being insecure and were truly sorry whereas a few were still very much the same person. It actually makes me sad to think how empty of a life that must be still pretending to be something you are not to put on a show. Is that something celebrities do as well? Are they all just outing on a show and making everyone else buy into it. I love Lindsey Lohan, but the poor thing seems to always be into trouble… is this an act or truly a person crying out for help coming from a broken home? I guess we just need to remember we are all human and we all need a little love and a little help from time to time. Shit happens to even the best of us… that is just how life is. If there were never any challenges for us to overcome…how would we overcome anything and grow as individuals?
I guess what I am saying is we are all just people trying to do the best we can in life... when you are sad and think you are worthless... just remember that you may have someone watching you... looking up to you that motivates them or keeps them from doing something stupid. We are all connected in life and need to remember that in our daily actions. We all have bad days and sometimes we all just need a hug... remember that next time you see someone down that may need lifted up.
I have been told many times that I am a good role model or I should watch the things I do because there are several people that are looking up to me. This is not a role I have chosen, but it is something to consider when doing daily things in life. I live my life honestly and focus on being the best version of myself on a daily basis. The thing is being myself also tends to be what some people would say is not a good a role model. I am me… loud both in spirit and being, silly, goofy, intelligent, witty, sarcastic, not a fashion model size, too tall, obnoxious, cuss like a sailor that married a logger and passionate about all I am. Just because someone is not the ideal vision of what a role model is, does that mean they are any less of a role model or that they are not a good person? I am gonna go with a no… I think someone like me that is successful and motivated can motivate other young people to be successful and embrace everything that they are in life. I think one of the biggest issues in our society these days is people trying to be something they are not because others around them are not accepting them for who they truly are. When I was in high school I always imagined being accepted by my peers, but let’s face it… the tall/fat/brainiac kid is not the first on the acceptance list. The thing I have found through the years is that the people that were the accepted crowd were the ones that were actually pretending to be something they are not and making everyone else buy into it. I have talked to a few people that were mean to me… some of them owned up to being insecure and were truly sorry whereas a few were still very much the same person. It actually makes me sad to think how empty of a life that must be still pretending to be something you are not to put on a show. Is that something celebrities do as well? Are they all just outing on a show and making everyone else buy into it. I love Lindsey Lohan, but the poor thing seems to always be into trouble… is this an act or truly a person crying out for help coming from a broken home? I guess we just need to remember we are all human and we all need a little love and a little help from time to time. Shit happens to even the best of us… that is just how life is. If there were never any challenges for us to overcome…how would we overcome anything and grow as individuals?
I guess what I am saying is we are all just people trying to do the best we can in life... when you are sad and think you are worthless... just remember that you may have someone watching you... looking up to you that motivates them or keeps them from doing something stupid. We are all connected in life and need to remember that in our daily actions. We all have bad days and sometimes we all just need a hug... remember that next time you see someone down that may need lifted up.
Friday, February 12, 2010
Religion & Politics....
As most of you know, I can be quite opinionated... on and off of the web :-) Recently though I have had requests to know exactly where I stand on some very specific topics... I always try to avoid these questions because I am not the sort of person that can give these answers with one word. So let's get to it shall we...
I grew up in rural America... and I am a registered Republican for the simple fact that I need to identify with a party to be able to vote in all elections. The Republican party is much closer in many ways to my beliefs. I grew up in and around my family's business... as a future small business owner taxes, required health care benefits etc are going to be very important to me. If the state expects all the mom and pop businesses of Oregon to finance all these new taxes that seem to get added every couple of years... we are all going to be one giant box store someday. One thing about Oregon is the majority of our voters live in our 3 largest cities in the northwest corner of the state. Most do not own companies, but instead work for corporate 'think tanks'... they do not know exactly how that will effect the other 75% of the state. It is very frustrating to sit and watch all this. Someday I may actually run for an office of some sort, so people of my generation can be heard to. Continuing down the Republican pipeline I am actually slightly conservative on a few other things... Integrity and honesty are things I strive for on a daily basis... small town values if you will... and I certainly do not know anyone more honest than me LOL. Some people reading this may be shitting a brick laughing.... laughing that I call myself conservative on any level. I support war when necessary... and even though GW Bush was a bit of a goofball I truly think he handled the 911 situation very well! I was at ground zero when they were still doing major clean up... seeing something like that after and all the devastation and destruction is life changing. It was like a bad dream on tv when we watched it, but seeing it in person was intense. Getting back to honesty... the thing most people (whether right or left) don't seem to do is be honest with themselves. It is truly a freeing experience and how I live my life. No I am not a super model, nor will I ever but, but I am not fucking ugly! I curse a lot, I'm crude, crass, and at time arrogant... the thing is... I know I am amazing and I know when to be humble (well most of the time)... and if you are my friend and never betray me I am there for life. I am passionate about things important to me and never back down from a fight that I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I think a lot of time in politics all of us get caught up in what we think is Republic or Democrat... it seems like the Democrats are geared for poorer or non 'white' America and the Republicans are white and from Texas... that's right... all the Republicans of the world are born in Texas don't cha know?! lol It just seems to me that all us have gotten off track. I mean it was Wilson (a Dem) that finally gave the women the right to vote only because he was forced to. (so it was a great change for Kennedy to come in the 60's) The Democratic party seemed to be focused on movement and progress for all... equality for all... never did it use to be so focused on race or class... this is sad to me. Now the Republican party seemed to be the dragging the feet party for awhile.. I'm sure deep down they wish everyone to be equal, but reality check not everyone can be equal... so for that I agree, but not to the extent we have gone. I also believe in choices for a lot of things.... abortion, gay marriage etc. I guess what I am saying is that both parties are a let down right now... fighting like a brother and sister... one being the stick in the mud... the other being with wild child... not to sound like a Miss America contestant, but can't we all just get along and find balance?
When it comes to life we all need to realize it is truly precious. With so many natural disasters coming in recent years, so have said the world is coming to an end etc etc. All things come to an end... and it should just remind people how precious life truly is. Do you ever wonder what happened to the ancient Egyptians or the Romans? Natural disasters... corruption... people taking over the system... sometimes I think natural disasters are ways that God reminds us life is precious... at any moment you can be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. How is it then that so many people live life like they themselves are Godlike? When these big disasters come through several lives are lost... is this God's way of hitting the reset button and cleaning out over populated areas? That is an extremely harsh thought I know, but seriously the earth only can support so many people before we all parish and are fighting over water and oil until we blow the shit out of each other.... killing everyone. Most of you that truly know me know that I would give the shirt off my back to someone I know really needed it. I am quite compassionate, but honest... it always comes back to honesty for me... There are reasons why great civilizations have crumbled before we were even a dream in God's eyes... I only hope I am not around to see it. If current projections are correct we will be out of our major resources for the world around 2058. That is why I try to recycle as much as I can and support green building practices whenever possible.
So I just want to clarify a few things... yes I support gay marriage... I think it is hard enough in this world to find someone you want to be with your entire life no matter who you are and I think it is shitty for government to say who you can be with. Also, I do support abortion... if a woman does not want a child and is brave enough to go get it done, I think that is a strong person. If a woman knows that she cannot take care of a child or does not want a child because of certain circumstances, what right do we have to make her carry a child and then give it away?! We have none in my opinion.
I guess that bring us right around to religion... wow religion... this is an interesting subject for me because my grandparents were missionaries (in Haiti) and I was always told if you didn't live a good Christian life you were going to hell (LOL) I gotta laugh sorry! The greatest thing we have in life is hope and the faith that there is something greater our there. I personally believe that if you are a productive member of society and you have a belief or faith that there is something watching over us... you will be just fine in life. I do not think it is fair for people to say if you do not go to Church you will go to hell. To me most churches are a giant melting pot and crock of shit (sorry!)The God business is the biggest business in the world no matter what religion you are! I think you can talk to God everyday without going to church... now there are some churches that focus on fellowship and outreach in positive manners... that is something I can get on board with. I think that most churches have gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of the world and become greedy. Don't get me wrong I know that there are people that need a church atmosphere to stay focused, sober or happy... they need that structure and fellowship to lead a healthy life...however I find is very frustrating for those same people to tell me I am not leading a whole life by not attending church. I went to church when I was younger, by my own accord... I was baptized on my own and went to youth group a lot. I liked the fun atmosphere and met a lot of great people. However, as I grew older I noticed a shift in the churches... most being centered on giving money... if I didn't give 10% of my earnings to the church I was not a complete Christian... news flash... God knows how much my mortgage costs and he knows I need every penny. To me that is horse shit to tell someone. If I do not give specifically 10% I am not going to be saved. I think there are several ways to give... one being food and shelter to people in need whenever necessary. I have friends that go through rough patches... I am there to cook for them, help them out by finding odd jobs for them to do and even from time to time a couch to crash on. If someone is truly trying in life... I want to help them succeed the way I ave been helped. Leading a straight and narrow life is not easy, but it is rewarding. The biggest problem I have with most churches is the people in them... seeing people I know run their businesses unethically... people I know are cheating on their husband or wife (sitting there smiling with their wife right there)... people I see drinking themselves almost to death or acting like an ass at bars acting Godly at church... they are saved each time they repent... going to church is like a quick fix for these people... and I choose not to be around them. If that makes me a bad person then fuck it. I truly believe if you have a good heart... get control of any addictions you have, stay focused and be a productive member of society there is a place for you in whatever heaven there may be after life.
Another thing about religion that kills me is the fact that every single religion thinks they are the only real and true thing out there... Most religions are centered around 3 different things - Christianity (father, son, holy spirit)... now look at the religions of the world... it is the same thing with different 3... perhaps we all actually believe the same thing, but cultural differences and time have pushed us in millions of different directions. I am not really sure... but the only thing I am sure about is that if you lead a productive life, are happy with yourself, find love, be kind to everyone in your world and strive to be the best version of yourself everyday... there is no way to have a terrible life. We all need something to hope for and have faith in... so religion is not a negative thing... but we need to take a step back and realize that people are people and we all need different things out of life. I live my life in 3's as well... I know there is good, bad and everything else... these reason for my lower back tattoo... everything is connected and it always goes in cycles... do not take for granted the good and do not worry so much about the bad.
I grew up in rural America... and I am a registered Republican for the simple fact that I need to identify with a party to be able to vote in all elections. The Republican party is much closer in many ways to my beliefs. I grew up in and around my family's business... as a future small business owner taxes, required health care benefits etc are going to be very important to me. If the state expects all the mom and pop businesses of Oregon to finance all these new taxes that seem to get added every couple of years... we are all going to be one giant box store someday. One thing about Oregon is the majority of our voters live in our 3 largest cities in the northwest corner of the state. Most do not own companies, but instead work for corporate 'think tanks'... they do not know exactly how that will effect the other 75% of the state. It is very frustrating to sit and watch all this. Someday I may actually run for an office of some sort, so people of my generation can be heard to. Continuing down the Republican pipeline I am actually slightly conservative on a few other things... Integrity and honesty are things I strive for on a daily basis... small town values if you will... and I certainly do not know anyone more honest than me LOL. Some people reading this may be shitting a brick laughing.... laughing that I call myself conservative on any level. I support war when necessary... and even though GW Bush was a bit of a goofball I truly think he handled the 911 situation very well! I was at ground zero when they were still doing major clean up... seeing something like that after and all the devastation and destruction is life changing. It was like a bad dream on tv when we watched it, but seeing it in person was intense. Getting back to honesty... the thing most people (whether right or left) don't seem to do is be honest with themselves. It is truly a freeing experience and how I live my life. No I am not a super model, nor will I ever but, but I am not fucking ugly! I curse a lot, I'm crude, crass, and at time arrogant... the thing is... I know I am amazing and I know when to be humble (well most of the time)... and if you are my friend and never betray me I am there for life. I am passionate about things important to me and never back down from a fight that I know in my heart is the right thing to do. I think a lot of time in politics all of us get caught up in what we think is Republic or Democrat... it seems like the Democrats are geared for poorer or non 'white' America and the Republicans are white and from Texas... that's right... all the Republicans of the world are born in Texas don't cha know?! lol It just seems to me that all us have gotten off track. I mean it was Wilson (a Dem) that finally gave the women the right to vote only because he was forced to. (so it was a great change for Kennedy to come in the 60's) The Democratic party seemed to be focused on movement and progress for all... equality for all... never did it use to be so focused on race or class... this is sad to me. Now the Republican party seemed to be the dragging the feet party for awhile.. I'm sure deep down they wish everyone to be equal, but reality check not everyone can be equal... so for that I agree, but not to the extent we have gone. I also believe in choices for a lot of things.... abortion, gay marriage etc. I guess what I am saying is that both parties are a let down right now... fighting like a brother and sister... one being the stick in the mud... the other being with wild child... not to sound like a Miss America contestant, but can't we all just get along and find balance?
When it comes to life we all need to realize it is truly precious. With so many natural disasters coming in recent years, so have said the world is coming to an end etc etc. All things come to an end... and it should just remind people how precious life truly is. Do you ever wonder what happened to the ancient Egyptians or the Romans? Natural disasters... corruption... people taking over the system... sometimes I think natural disasters are ways that God reminds us life is precious... at any moment you can be swallowed up by a hole in the ground. How is it then that so many people live life like they themselves are Godlike? When these big disasters come through several lives are lost... is this God's way of hitting the reset button and cleaning out over populated areas? That is an extremely harsh thought I know, but seriously the earth only can support so many people before we all parish and are fighting over water and oil until we blow the shit out of each other.... killing everyone. Most of you that truly know me know that I would give the shirt off my back to someone I know really needed it. I am quite compassionate, but honest... it always comes back to honesty for me... There are reasons why great civilizations have crumbled before we were even a dream in God's eyes... I only hope I am not around to see it. If current projections are correct we will be out of our major resources for the world around 2058. That is why I try to recycle as much as I can and support green building practices whenever possible.
So I just want to clarify a few things... yes I support gay marriage... I think it is hard enough in this world to find someone you want to be with your entire life no matter who you are and I think it is shitty for government to say who you can be with. Also, I do support abortion... if a woman does not want a child and is brave enough to go get it done, I think that is a strong person. If a woman knows that she cannot take care of a child or does not want a child because of certain circumstances, what right do we have to make her carry a child and then give it away?! We have none in my opinion.
I guess that bring us right around to religion... wow religion... this is an interesting subject for me because my grandparents were missionaries (in Haiti) and I was always told if you didn't live a good Christian life you were going to hell (LOL) I gotta laugh sorry! The greatest thing we have in life is hope and the faith that there is something greater our there. I personally believe that if you are a productive member of society and you have a belief or faith that there is something watching over us... you will be just fine in life. I do not think it is fair for people to say if you do not go to Church you will go to hell. To me most churches are a giant melting pot and crock of shit (sorry!)The God business is the biggest business in the world no matter what religion you are! I think you can talk to God everyday without going to church... now there are some churches that focus on fellowship and outreach in positive manners... that is something I can get on board with. I think that most churches have gotten lost in the hustle and bustle of the world and become greedy. Don't get me wrong I know that there are people that need a church atmosphere to stay focused, sober or happy... they need that structure and fellowship to lead a healthy life...however I find is very frustrating for those same people to tell me I am not leading a whole life by not attending church. I went to church when I was younger, by my own accord... I was baptized on my own and went to youth group a lot. I liked the fun atmosphere and met a lot of great people. However, as I grew older I noticed a shift in the churches... most being centered on giving money... if I didn't give 10% of my earnings to the church I was not a complete Christian... news flash... God knows how much my mortgage costs and he knows I need every penny. To me that is horse shit to tell someone. If I do not give specifically 10% I am not going to be saved. I think there are several ways to give... one being food and shelter to people in need whenever necessary. I have friends that go through rough patches... I am there to cook for them, help them out by finding odd jobs for them to do and even from time to time a couch to crash on. If someone is truly trying in life... I want to help them succeed the way I ave been helped. Leading a straight and narrow life is not easy, but it is rewarding. The biggest problem I have with most churches is the people in them... seeing people I know run their businesses unethically... people I know are cheating on their husband or wife (sitting there smiling with their wife right there)... people I see drinking themselves almost to death or acting like an ass at bars acting Godly at church... they are saved each time they repent... going to church is like a quick fix for these people... and I choose not to be around them. If that makes me a bad person then fuck it. I truly believe if you have a good heart... get control of any addictions you have, stay focused and be a productive member of society there is a place for you in whatever heaven there may be after life.
Another thing about religion that kills me is the fact that every single religion thinks they are the only real and true thing out there... Most religions are centered around 3 different things - Christianity (father, son, holy spirit)... now look at the religions of the world... it is the same thing with different 3... perhaps we all actually believe the same thing, but cultural differences and time have pushed us in millions of different directions. I am not really sure... but the only thing I am sure about is that if you lead a productive life, are happy with yourself, find love, be kind to everyone in your world and strive to be the best version of yourself everyday... there is no way to have a terrible life. We all need something to hope for and have faith in... so religion is not a negative thing... but we need to take a step back and realize that people are people and we all need different things out of life. I live my life in 3's as well... I know there is good, bad and everything else... these reason for my lower back tattoo... everything is connected and it always goes in cycles... do not take for granted the good and do not worry so much about the bad.
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