Respect and Honesty...

So recently I have finally began to look at my life openly and honestly with regard to the people in my life and how those people interact with me. A lot of times people say that you need to love yourself first before you can love anyone else... same goes with respect and honesty... you need to have enough respect for yourself to be honest with yourself... then those two things will follow you in daily activities. With that said... reality has set in deeply... when I have taken a step back, it has allowed me a glimpse into the lives of those around me (near and far) and it really is not very pretty. The hardest concept for me to grasp is the fact that very few people in this world do not know what it is to just be a friend to someone... not try and use someone for some sort of advantage... or purpose, but really just being there for someone, even if it means just hugging them or listening to them cry for a moment on the phone. When did we become so empty as humans... what has caused this shift? Why are we so spoiled and selfish? Am I the last of a dying, pathetic breed that would rather die doing the right thing... being alone and always trying to be there for everyone else... getting used up to the last drop... left empty to crack?

The biggest problem I have with the human race right now is the general lack of respect and follow through. I have absolutely no problem if someone does not like me... I do not even care if they have a legitimate reason... not everyone is meant to be friends. It is what it is... the problem I have is if you say you are going to do something just do it... or if you have no intention of doing it either be honest with the person and just tell them no... or have enough respect for the person to let them know you just cannot do it... make up a shitty excuse... who cares, just be a big enough person to show someone respect so they are not sitting there alone waiting with their thumb up their ass. They say loneliness breaks a persons' spirit, but that is not the case. A person can function just fine on their own little path... be their very own ray of sunshine in life... it's only when a person takes that leap of faith to just have human contact that derails their spirit... even breaking it. What is so difficult for the average human to understand about friendship (or relationships of any kind in life - family etc)? As humans our basic instinct is to nurture and protect... so why must we spend so much time tearing each other down and break each other to the ground. If people spent half the time on positivity as they do on negativity... honesty, truth, respect, love... the world would be very different right now. As a race we have undone thousands of years of traditions and kindness as people in 4 generations... how is this possible?

Maybe there is just something inherently wrong with me? Am I so odd of a person to not expect items or gifts of people... no advancement in society... just time. My whole life I have been seeking acceptance and time from people and I keep getting the same responses from people... I am too nice, I expect too much from people... I should know better than to rely on anyone... people are inherently bad... you cannot change anyone... you need to learn to appease people more often... don't set your sights so high and people won't disappoint you as often. Really? What the fuck?! How are any of those statements ok in life? When should it be ok to settle in life with anything... don't get me wrong I do believe some people are lost causes and never will change, but in my heart I truly feel if someone wants a different life they can have it... they just need to be honest and respect themselves enough to see their flaws and how to improve as a person. It is easy to give someone something... a gift... etc... but why is it so hard to give each other a piece of ourselves? Let's be honest with ourselves for who we are and what we want out of life and start giving people respect as another human being to be who they are and do what they want. Respect each other enough to know we want different things in life... we are not all mean to be friends, but we can still respect our differences to enjoy all aspects of life.