The Parade...

So... I am going to give my review of last nights Snowflake festival... be reminded my blog is highly inappropriate and rude at times :-) Enjoy!

First of all all it was cold as bald polar bear nuts in Alaska out last night... so that was pretty awesome.

There was a full parade... 100 entries and it appeared to me the whole town had come out (except most were in the damn parade). One thing that really bothered me was the fact that most of the floats or random people sauntering down the street were not labeled and had no signs. How the fuck am I suppose to know who you people are... maybe you were trying to get some amazing point across and change the world, but no one knew who the hell you were so your objective failed...

One thing I learned in my lovely small town is perhaps making snarky comments during the whole parade is not the best way to get people around you to be nice :-) For example when the Sons of Norway float went by with it's cute little vikings in a ship... Spitting out 'Oh wow... it's the white supremacy float... rad!' might not get a lot of people laughing - People now a days have no sense of humor. Perhaps saying ' thank god for Kfalls... because if that float had tried to enter into a parade in Eugene or Portland they would have been shot or denied entry... it's so nice to see all the colors of the rainbow represented here' might not have seemed funny to some people. Sarcasm really is under rated I tell ya!

Another thing I thought was rad was the way the head start bus was decorated... on a serious note that was one of the best decorated vehicle in the whole place... it had lights all over and glitter... it was glorious. I think the people around me thought I was making fun of special people because I said I would drive the fuck out of the short bus. I seriously just wanted to drive it around all lite up!

Something else people don't seem to appreciate is when you scream out 'holy fuck... look at that.. I want one... radsauce'!! There was this awesome giant snow plow with like tracks... that thing looks like it will go anywhere... I was thinking how awesome I should be to open the garage up and be able to plow my driveway in one swipe.

Now there were some high school bands there and I have got to say that Chiloquin High school surprise the shit out of me... there were like 45 kids in their band! I didn't even know that many kids went to that high school and they sounded great! Poor little mazama had about 15 kids and they sounded like a dying camel getting fucking by a dying goat.

All and all it was a pretty good night and I even got felt up by someone... whoever grazed my ass... thank you and Merry Christmas <3