Let Your Light Shine...

It's extremely frustrating in these times that people are still so fucking mean to other people. Who didn't hug you enough when you were a child that you feel the need to be a complete dick to people just to be able to look in the mirror and feel ok? The misconceptions in life that tearing others down to build yourself up is very 1922 and not just kids being kids... or people being people. I have never understood this and I never will.

It is exceptionally difficult wearing the badges 'of honor' in life that we all do and dealing with general ignorance that comes with it. Being amazon tall makes me stand out and be seen... with this comes great responsibility. Not slouching creating body problems... not being afraid to be seen as strong, but it seems to only be alright if you are very thin... god forbid someone be tall and big! Being a plus size amazon goddess can truly be difficult at times... people always joke what kind of kool-aid I drank when I was little or what did I eat. Apparently I ate my fucking vegetables if I grew up like a Clydesdale huh prick face. The thing about me is I have struggled deeply with trying to maintain a 'healthy' body image since I was 8! Some people just have issues being able to take off and keep off weight.... it doesn't mean they are at home eating 2 boxes of cookies daily and eating only fast food, but maybe things are going on inside no one understands. I mean unless you literally see these people at McDonald's daily eating like 5 big macs and not trying to work out.

Now, being big and tall is one thing, but girl oh lordy if you have an opinion and aren't afraid to voice it god help you! It can be perceived as being pushy, rude, dominate, bitchy etc etc. If not being afraid to say what needs said makes me those things then so be it. If a man said 1/2 the shit I do on the regular he would be seen as a god... his friends would worship him. Especially if he was talking about adding bitches to the roster! Why can't a female who is completely comfortable with herself and who is being safe have the same lifestyle? Why is it not alright for me to openly say I am not exclusively dating someone, but I am going to enjoy the company of whomever I desire when I want? Please slut shame me doll and see how far that gets you! Why is being happily married the only thing that makes sense to people? Perhaps someday sometime I will find one man that can satisfy all my needs (mind, body, soul) and not need a roster, but until that time who really gives a fuck?

So, being a tall, big, boss ass bitch whom is opinionated and lives her life how she desires might seem dreamy enough, but then toss in tattooed and 'weird' and we add a whole different level of judgement. I have never understood why people make such an effort to discriminate against tattoos. In ancient times they were badges of honor, family, accomplishments. That is exactly how I see mine... they all are a memory good, bad and in between. Judging someone with tattoos is on the same grounds as judging someone by the color (race) of their skin. Pure ignorance! Now sprinkle in some weirdness and nerdiness and bam... we have our own special mixture of a person... Which just so happens to be The Jessica in this case.

Think of all the things you have gone through in your life and think how is stacks up to what society says is normal... now imagine how hard you have tried to mold yourself into what society wants and how angry that makes you feel. Instead of channeling that anger onto other people use that anger to either fuel yourself to those changes you want or to just say FUCK IT and be happy being you! I remember always feeling like I never stacked up and that something was very wrong with me when I was younger... as an adult I realize that some people are just meant to shine and it's your job to turn that energy back into light... let your light shine... and make sure that if someone is trying to unplug you are turn off your switch that you just toss them in the trash.